September 10th, 2008 — But other people are starving, Circus act, Coping, Get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can't say on the radio, I didn’t invite you into this conversation…, I'm bent!, I'm going to freak the fuck out!, That's what everybody's bitching about!, Work etiquette, Working with others, You know your rude when...
September 9th, 2008 — Bitch, Circus act, Control freak, How to say fuck off, I'm going to freak the fuck out!, Karma is a powerful thing, Negative people at work, Self Esteem, When to say fuck off, copybitch is not responsible
Have you ever met someone that is so obsessed with being a fig face, that all that comes out of their mouth is complaints. I have had the unfortunate experience of having to listen to a coworker’s shit every morning. It amazes me how someone can be so negative. I guess when you are 200+lbs there just is not too much to be excited about. I say death to the naysayers, death to the cowbutts, and death to the no sex getting mutha whos. How can you be married or living with someone and not get laid. UGGH!
If I hear one more comment about how much this beast eats or what ailments this animal has, I am going to explode. Please masturbate or something. You are driving me nuts.
September 8th, 2008 — Being good at what you do, Bitch, Control freak, Coping, How to get to the top, I didn’t invite you into this conversation…, I'm going to freak the fuck out!, If I could just get the bank to give me back my money…, Insecurity is a vicious weapon, Kick the next person who talks over me in a meeting right in the fucking head!, SEM, SEO, Taken seriously, The meeting, Tired of people trying to do my job, Why the fuck did they hire me, Working with others
Grrrrrrrr, I am so fucking tired of people stepping in and trying to do my job, trying to tell me how things that I am responsible for are going to be done, and I think I’ll kick the next person who talks over me in a meeting right in the fucking head!
Well, let me tell ya (again). Because I know what the fuck I am doing! (Besides, why didn’t you get the job then, hmmm?) I’d like to show you that I know what I am doing, but you won’t let me. Oh well, maybe someday, I’ll finally get my big break.
Pretty simple, eh? (I need to be a creative director.)
September 5th, 2008 — Getting paid, Pay it forward, Writing, Writing gigs
Pay ranges from $300-$3,000 for essays and interviews; $300-$2,000 for fiction; $100-$500 for poetry.
Rate of pay not specified.
Pays $25-$40 for cartoons; $60 for stories
Pays on acceptance. Rates vary, depending on the assignment.
September 4th, 2008 — A special on their buffet, A whole lot safer, America's most disgusting inventions, Burning up a quarter tank of gas, But other people are starving, Cheap as a gallon of gas, Circus act, Commercial, Get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can't say on the radio, I just heard the stupidest thing on the radio..., My way to work, Shot immediately, Statements that cause aneurysms, That's what everybody's bitching about!, Who needs gas money anyway
So, I’m on my way to work, burning up a quarter tank of gas, and a commercial for some scuzzy, casino buffet blares out my speakers like a circus act.
The whole point of this over-dramatic and flat-out-obnoxious commercial was that they were having a special on their buffet… Let me repeat that, a special on their buffet.
Oh and by the way, the buffet is one of America’s most disgusting inventions to serve the larger than usual gobs spreading at alarming rates throughout the United States (haven’t you had enough, people?).
At least in Copybitch’s opinion. Sorry. But other people are starving.
And anyone who even attempts to take me on a “date” to a buffet will be shot immediately. There is nothing special about a buffet and the two words should never be forced into the same sentence.
Get this:
“Our buffet is as cheap as a gallon of gas!”
WARNING: These are the types of statements that cause aneurysms. Thanks you Lewis Black, for warning us all. Now if we could just get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can’t say on the radio (and the bit about the horse of course), we’d be a whole lot safer.
Copybitch apologizes for any medical problems that may occur after reading this post and is not responsible as you read this shit at your own risk.
If you haven’t noticed the price of a gallon of gas isn’t exactly at it’s lowest. In fact that’s what everybody’s bitching about!
Ok, so I get it, of course I get it… wait… huh? Got it! What we all need to do is go downtown and get a buffet. Fuck the gas. Who needs gas money anyway. Shit, for a gallon of gas we can eat till our arteries are clogged and then we definitely won’t be going anywhere, right?
Oh no!
August 30th, 2008 — Being good at what you do, Coping, How to say fuck off, Internet marketing, Marketing, SEM, SEO, When to say fuck off, Why to say fuck off, Working with others
After considering their opinion of course, should you:
A. Tell them to fuck off in the politest possible way?
or B. Tell them to fuck off in the sexiest possible way?
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August 29th, 2008 — Everything is comin’ our way, Karma is a powerful thing, Sionara bruja!, The boss, Working with others
The bitch is gone. Yep, outta here. No more,
I may just make it after all. Funny thing that kharma.
August 27th, 2008 — Help from mother’s little yellow pill, I have a real job, I'm bent!, Mama's gone, Out on business, Target practice, Workin' mama
Business… I get home and I think we had a tornado here in this desert because even my yard was bent. Arrgh!
Target practice baby! Good thing my S.O. is out of town (and I don’t have a gun).
August 27th, 2008 — Coping, Negative people at work, Where’s the balance, Work etiquette, Working with others
August 26th, 2008 — Coping, Negative people at work, Where’s the balance, Working with others
It is really sad when you have to listen to a person’s negative thoughts on a daily basis. I mean if you are a negative thinking person and you hate your life so much, just freakin’ kill yourself. Not everyone thinks the way you do and in fact some of us are quite happy. That happiness gives normal people the strength to deal with your negative ass. If you really want people to think you are as ugly as you feel, then by all means keep talking shit. Otherwise, you should really think about what is coming out of your mouth. It is so unattractive to constantly hear about your hates and rants of why your are so miserable. I would frankly rather you crap on me then listen to you boring conversation. If people that think negative would just take two seconds and think of all the positive things in their lives, they probably would be happier. No one is 100% happy 100% of the time, but your attitide can be. Changing your attitude about your life and other people can be very beneficial; people will actually like to talk to you, you won’t look like a total ass all the time, you may even lose weight and keep those nasty wrinkles from forming on your sour face.