So, I’m on my way to work, burning up a quarter tank of gas, and a commercial for some scuzzy, casino buffet blares out my speakers like a circus act.
This is not marketing people!
The whole point of this over-dramatic and flat-out-obnoxious commercial was that they were having a special on their buffet… Let me repeat that, a special on their buffet.
Oh and by the way, the buffet is one of America’s most disgusting inventions to serve the larger than usual gobs spreading at alarming rates throughout the United States (haven’t you had enough, people?).
At least in Copybitch’s opinion. Sorry. But other people are starving.
And anyone who even attempts to take me on a “date” to a buffet will be shot immediately. There is nothing special about a buffet and the two words should never be forced into the same sentence.
Get this:
“Our buffet is as cheap as a gallon of gas!”
Are you new here?
WARNING: These are the types of statements that cause aneurysms. Thanks you Lewis Black, for warning us all. Now if we could just get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can’t say on the radio (and the bit about the horse of course), we’d be a whole lot safer.
Copybitch apologizes for any medical problems that may occur after reading this post and is not responsible as you read this shit at your own risk.
If you haven’t noticed the price of a gallon of gas isn’t exactly at it’s lowest. In fact that’s what everybody’s bitching about!
A failed attempt at pleasing the masses…
Ok, so I get it, of course I get it… wait… huh? Got it! What we all need to do is go downtown and get a buffet. Fuck the gas. Who needs gas money anyway. Shit, for a gallon of gas we can eat till our arteries are clogged and then we definitely won’t be going anywhere, right?
Oh no!
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5 comments ↓
I will never forget when I visited a buffet in downtown Reno, and this enormous couple (man and woman) sat down a couple of tables down, both of them had half of a turkey on their plates. Both proceeded to pick the turkey halves up by the leg and eat it like it was a piece of chicken. They basically made everyone in the vicinity sick. Not only where they eating like pigs, but they looked like pigs.
If you are so big that you cannot even clean yourself correctly, it may be time to lay off the buffets.
You are right they are disgusting.
Yep, that’s the gist of it. I shot a man who took me on a “date” to Hometown Buffet. Oops… I mean metaphorically speaking… I just never saw him after that… I mean I never dated him after that, he was… I mean is around somewhere I’m sure, slurping up bread pudding and sucking on a turkey leg.
Yeah, how the hell do you market that?
Stop the ceaseless eating! It won’t fill that void. You might feel full, but your still empty inside.
Amen to that!
And Craig, well, you don’t. It was a bad idea to start with, so bury it baby!
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