Entries Tagged 'I'm bent!' ↓

I’m number one, dammit!

I used to be able to type my name into Google and come up number one in the search results. I even beat out a famous field hockey player (if there really is such a thing, the sport must be big outside of America). Yesterday I was number two and now today I’m the third. Third!

What’s the worst part?

I’m getting my ass kicked by “Plump Rumps #3″. What the fuck is the world coming to? The funny part is I had to check it out to make sure I didn’t have an ex playing revenge. I mean, not like I do that sort of thing, but maybe I was drunk… Yeah, no, anyway I have faith that Google will figure out who the real slim is and get my shit back on top (no pun intended).

1. The people next to you can’t hear themselves think
2. The person across the building can hear you on your conference call and their not on the phone
3. People leave work to do their work
4. You’re giving your cube neighbor a headache
5. No one wants to start a conversation with you
6. Everyone around you (and in the building for that matter) has their noise canceling headphones up to full blast
7. The office has started a fund raiser to purchase earplugs
8. You can’t shut the hell up!

So I’m out of town right…

Business… I get home and I think we had a tornado here in this desert because even my yard was bent. Arrgh!

Here’s how I cope:

Target practice baby! Good thing my S.O. is out of town (and I don’t have a gun).