Entries Tagged 'Get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can't say on the radio' ↓

Ok, ok, so this really isn’t a surprise for anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of listening to these fools (I mean look at these people), but let me get back to my story…

So I’m driving into work…

… this morning, mind you I’m a commuter now, and I’m scrolling through the radio stations and low and behold more talk of Obama. But this isn’t intelligent talk about the economic state of our country or the environment… they’re talking about how Obama’s family will decorate the White House in their not so thrilling series Obama Nation. Ha, ha, get it. Yeah it’s that dumb.

Who Fucking Cares!

That’s number one, but I always hate to be reminded that I still live in a redneck, republican, asshole state. I’ll let you guess which one. Rob, Arnie & Dawn are the poster children for the ignorance that runs rampant through this place (and a frightening large majority of the rest of this country).

Anyway, back to my bitch…

You really can’t be saying a black president will have leopard print rugs, posters of Michel Jordan, and MTV all up in there filming an episode of cribs. You guys are apparently so stupid that you don’t even realize the racial ramifications of what you are saying. Hell, you might as well say that for the Obama’s first White House meal they’re having fried chicken and watermelon.

What’s worse?

After completely demonstrating your stereotypical racist belief system and preaching it through the radio like Rush Limbaugh so all have to be victims of your bullshit, you show off your sexist side to accompany your antisemitism. “Shooting blanks” does not mean you have baby girls idiots! And why are you laughing Dawn? Any self-respecting woman would find this insulting. Get with the program, men are no longer the heir… whatever bullshit that went on long before your time. We (women) are working now and guess what, we can vote too.

And there’s more

Never mind the stupid woman (proud veteran to boot) who cried when Obama won because she felt we were, “saying goodbye to our country as we know it”. Well, good riddance, what has your country done for you lately? You’re lucky you didn’t get blown to shreds over there, but we’re not. (And Dawn, enough with your meaningless thank yous, and yeah, keep Jesus out of it.) Why don’t you join up, take Rob and Arnie with you, and do us all a favor?

It’s people like you that ruin our country and give us all a bad rap to the rest of the world. Thanks. As far as Obama running us, “further into the ground”, take a look at what little Bush did you ignorant fools.

Listen to these idiots here and share your bitch:

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As for me, I won’t be listening to that station anymore. Of course, Nappy wannabe on 102.9 wasn’t too impressive either. After running through her speal about the economy and unemployment… (reading her script) she states, “… and there are lots of mothers out there pushing their babies down the street in strollers hoping for something good to happen.”

What?

Really, what are they waiting for? Their babies to get run down by a drunk driver and the settlement to follow?

Ugh, this is why I buy lot’s of cds.

Now I have to wonder, who the hell is doing this shit? I mean really, do they think people will actually click through even if by some miracle the comment makes it past the spam filter?

Well, here’s a few of my favorites (without the links to the porno, sorry, and if you need viagra, go somewhere else):

• Leallimpelo | patron acceptance pauperismed accoutrement viagra inconceivable r“le scribble housecoat (What the fuck are you saying, man?!)
• whelawhobby | rush reckon myriad heedful deluge cialis rush (Well, this just sounds terrifying)
• IcorsnIbrubre | black iron poker slot scaletrix cache creek casino (See above comment, hot poker?) playing cards illegal during middle ages (So how old do you have to be again?)
• plogypeskelry | rely on up to boyfriend and testament good sense cialis expansive pedagogical (Well I know what I’d do if my boyfriend ever said something like this to me.)
• ambudrotins | vufjydsawdf
  free anal sex (Do people pay for this often?)

But my all-time favorite is…

Stissismdek | You site very good and interesting . Thanks and sory
db
sory
sory
(Why are you apologizing? For not using spell checker or just spamming the hell out of my blog? A spammer with a conscience, hmmm?)

In conclusion…

All I can say is good luck (and kindly leave me the hell alone).

I’m number one, dammit!

I used to be able to type my name into Google and come up number one in the search results. I even beat out a famous field hockey player (if there really is such a thing, the sport must be big outside of America). Yesterday I was number two and now today I’m the third. Third!

What’s the worst part?

I’m getting my ass kicked by “Plump Rumps #3″. What the fuck is the world coming to? The funny part is I had to check it out to make sure I didn’t have an ex playing revenge. I mean, not like I do that sort of thing, but maybe I was drunk… Yeah, no, anyway I have faith that Google will figure out who the real slim is and get my shit back on top (no pun intended).

1. The people next to you can’t hear themselves think
2. The person across the building can hear you on your conference call and their not on the phone
3. People leave work to do their work
4. You’re giving your cube neighbor a headache
5. No one wants to start a conversation with you
6. Everyone around you (and in the building for that matter) has their noise canceling headphones up to full blast
7. The office has started a fund raiser to purchase earplugs
8. You can’t shut the hell up!

So, I’m on my way to work, burning up a quarter tank of gas, and a commercial for some scuzzy, casino buffet blares out my speakers like a circus act.

This is not marketing people!

The whole point of this over-dramatic and flat-out-obnoxious commercial was that they were having a special on their buffet… Let me repeat that, a special on their buffet.

Oh and by the way, the buffet is one of America’s most disgusting inventions to serve the larger than usual gobs spreading at alarming rates throughout the United States (haven’t you had enough, people?).

At least in Copybitch’s opinion. Sorry. But other people are starving.

And anyone who even attempts to take me on a “date” to a buffet will be shot immediately. There is nothing special about a buffet and the two words should never be forced into the same sentence.

Get this:

“Our buffet is as cheap as a gallon of gas!”

Are you new here?

WARNING: These are the types of statements that cause aneurysms. Thanks you Lewis Black, for warning us all. Now if we could just get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can’t say on the radio (and the bit about the horse of course), we’d be a whole lot safer.

Copybitch apologizes for any medical problems that may occur after reading this post and is not responsible as you read this shit at your own risk.

If you haven’t noticed the price of a gallon of gas isn’t exactly at it’s lowest. In fact that’s what everybody’s bitching about!

A failed attempt at pleasing the masses…

Ok, so I get it, of course I get it… wait… huh? Got it! What we all need to do is go downtown and get a buffet. Fuck the gas. Who needs gas money anyway. Shit, for a gallon of gas we can eat till our arteries are clogged and then we definitely won’t be going anywhere, right?

Oh no!