September 4th, 2008 — A special on their buffet, A whole lot safer, America's most disgusting inventions, Burning up a quarter tank of gas, But other people are starving, Cheap as a gallon of gas, Circus act, Commercial, Get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can't say on the radio, I just heard the stupidest thing on the radio..., My way to work, Shot immediately, Statements that cause aneurysms, That's what everybody's bitching about!, Who needs gas money anyway
So, I’m on my way to work, burning up a quarter tank of gas, and a commercial for some scuzzy, casino buffet blares out my speakers like a circus act.
This is not marketing people!
The whole point of this over-dramatic and flat-out-obnoxious commercial was that they were having a special on their buffet… Let me repeat that, a special on their buffet.
Oh and by the way, the buffet is one of America’s most disgusting inventions to serve the larger than usual gobs spreading at alarming rates throughout the United States (haven’t you had enough, people?).
At least in Copybitch’s opinion. Sorry. But other people are starving.
And anyone who even attempts to take me on a “date” to a buffet will be shot immediately. There is nothing special about a buffet and the two words should never be forced into the same sentence.
Get this:
“Our buffet is as cheap as a gallon of gas!”
Are you new here?
WARNING: These are the types of statements that cause aneurysms. Thanks you Lewis Black, for warning us all. Now if we could just get the FCC to add this to their list of things you can’t say on the radio (and the bit about the horse of course), we’d be a whole lot safer.
Copybitch apologizes for any medical problems that may occur after reading this post and is not responsible as you read this shit at your own risk.
If you haven’t noticed the price of a gallon of gas isn’t exactly at it’s lowest. In fact that’s what everybody’s bitching about!
A failed attempt at pleasing the masses…
Ok, so I get it, of course I get it… wait… huh? Got it! What we all need to do is go downtown and get a buffet. Fuck the gas. Who needs gas money anyway. Shit, for a gallon of gas we can eat till our arteries are clogged and then we definitely won’t be going anywhere, right?
Oh no!
August 30th, 2008 — Being good at what you do, Coping, How to say fuck off, Internet marketing, Marketing, SEM, SEO, When to say fuck off, Why to say fuck off, Working with others
After considering their opinion of course, should you:
A. Tell them to fuck off in the politest possible way?
or B. Tell them to fuck off in the sexiest possible way?
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August 29th, 2008 — Everything is comin’ our way, Karma is a powerful thing, Sionara bruja!, The boss, Working with others
Sionara bruja!
The bitch is gone. Yep, outta here. No more,
- “You suck because I micromanage.”
- “I’m going to ignore you because I’m insecure.”
- “You come up with better ideas than I do, so I am going to trash your review.”
- “I’m faking it (or drunk) when I’m nice to you, which I try not to be too often.”
- “I hate that they hired you, so I’m going to make your life hell…”
Finito!
I may just make it after all. Funny thing that kharma.
August 27th, 2008 — Help from mother’s little yellow pill, I have a real job, I'm bent!, Mama's gone, Out on business, Target practice, Workin' mama
So I’m out of town right…
Business… I get home and I think we had a tornado here in this desert because even my yard was bent. Arrgh!
Here’s how I cope:
Target practice baby! Good thing my S.O. is out of town (and I don’t have a gun).
August 27th, 2008 — Coping, Negative people at work, Where’s the balance, Work etiquette, Working with others
- Be a nice person to your coworkers and most likely they will be nice to you.
- Don’t bother people with your bitching constantly it is annoying to others. It is one thing to have a bad day, but if that bad day turns into your every day life story it can become very annoying to others.
- Be careful sharing secrets with coworkers. Loose lips sink ships and people you tell a secret to may not be as secretive as you would like. This can cause major problems.
- Never talk about how much weight you have gained. When we gain weight there is a tendency to talk about with others and share the misery. One thing people forget is that even though you may feel fat you may not look fat. Bringing this fact up can just bring attention to yourself that is uneccessary. Hold you head up and shut the F… up, for christ sake get some exercise.
- Gossiping about others is a no no. It always gets back to the person you are gossiping about. So be careful when talking shit about others.
- Be as cheerful as possible. No body like to be around boring, tired, pissy people. Not only does it make you unattractive, but it can cause people to not want to be around you. It really is nobodies business what aweful things have happened to you. So practice smiling and just act happy even if you are not. At least you will be more likeable.
August 26th, 2008 — Coping, Negative people at work, Where’s the balance, Working with others
It is really sad when you have to listen to a person’s negative thoughts on a daily basis. I mean if you are a negative thinking person and you hate your life so much, just freakin’ kill yourself. Not everyone thinks the way you do and in fact some of us are quite happy. That happiness gives normal people the strength to deal with your negative ass. If you really want people to think you are as ugly as you feel, then by all means keep talking shit. Otherwise, you should really think about what is coming out of your mouth. It is so unattractive to constantly hear about your hates and rants of why your are so miserable. I would frankly rather you crap on me then listen to you boring conversation. If people that think negative would just take two seconds and think of all the positive things in their lives, they probably would be happier. No one is 100% happy 100% of the time, but your attitide can be. Changing your attitude about your life and other people can be very beneficial; people will actually like to talk to you, you won’t look like a total ass all the time, you may even lose weight and keep those nasty wrinkles from forming on your sour face.
August 25th, 2008 — Getting paid, Writing, Writing gigs